Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts

May 2, 2016

Finding Meaning in Everyday Work and Love

Rose of All the World
by poet D.H. Lawrence

I am here myself; as though this heave of effort
At starting other life, fulfilled my own;
Rose-leaves that whirl in colour round a core
Of seed-specks kindled lately and softly blown

By all the blood of the rose-bush into being -

Strange, that the urgent will in me, to set
My mouth on hers in kisses, and so softly
To bring together two strange sparks, beget

Another life from our lives, so should send

The innermost fire of my own dim soul out-spinning
And whirling in blossom of flame and being upon me!
That my completion of manhood should be the beginning

Another life from mine! For so it looks.

The seed is purpose, blossom accident.
The seed is all in all, the blossom lent
To crown the triumph of this new descent.

Is that it, woman? Does it strike you so?

The Great Breath blowing a tiny seed of fire
Fans out your petals for excess of flame,
Till all your being smokes with fine desire?

Or are we kindled, you and I, to be

One rose of wonderment upon the tree
Of perfect life, and is our possible seed
But the residuum of the ecstasy?

How will you have it? - the rose is all in all,

Or the ripe rose-fruits of the luscious fall?
The sharp begetting, or the child begot?
Our consummation matters, or does it not?

To me it seems the seed is just left over

From the red rose-flowers' fiery transience;
Just orts and slarts; berries that smoulder in the bush
Which burnt just now with marvellous immanence.

Blossom, my darling, blossom, be a rose

Of roses unchidden and purposeless; a rose
For rosiness only, without an ulterior motive;
For me it is more than enough if the flower unclose.


While the above is poetry by the famed novelist D. H. Lawrence; the Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy, another important literary figure, also suffered similar questions about the meaning of life.
Both men had strong religious and spiritual experiences in their boyhoods. Tolstoy's novels include War and Peace and Anna Karenina, translated from Russian into English, standing out as some of his best.  A deeply spiritual man, Tolstoy, often wrestled with questions about the meaning of life. A scion of a well to do family, he received an excellent education; he married a beautiful woman, fathered 13 children, possessed considerable inherited wealth, and he suffered from periods of serious depression. At times thought he might kill himself.

Writing in a book he titled,  A Confession, Tolstoy chronicles his long search for the meaning of his life. He writes of a desire to bury himself in writing to avoid these other issues in his life; unsure and sometimes conflicted about his life’s deeper meaning, Tolstoy fell in and out of depression. Life events often were the trigger for his depressive episodes. Living through these times was deeply challenging to him. As he aged, they became more severe and longer lasting.

Pondering what he saw as possible meaning, he contrasted this awareness with the knowledge of sure death, the end of mortal life. He recoiled from the thought that all that he was in the world would be annihilated at the moment of his death. Eventually he stumbled upon the “Sermon on the Mount” and was deeply inspired by it. He came to see that his deepest, truest purpose was to forge a living relationship with a loving, creative god.

He now saw his purpose in doing the work of illuminating the Kingdom of Heaven on earth (Both men in fact often write about the kingdom of heaven, using representational symbols). This revelation relieved and changed him; he viewed himself and others in this new light. For the first time, those who had served him and his family, for as long as their lifetimes, were treated with kindness and respect for their efforts. He gave to the poor in his community and dedicated his remaining years to the improvement of the lives of those less fortunate that he. Leo Tolstoy, novelist, wealthy heir, landowner, found peace and a deep, abiding love in the life of service, through following the Christ.

April 14, 2012

Gracious

"The scent was intoxicating; it filled me full, madly, wildly, deeply and I was transported still again"

Because You Loved Me
by Celine Dion


For all those times you stood by me 
For all the truth that you made me see 
For all the joy you brought to my life 
For all the wrong that you made right 
For every dream you made come true 
For all the love I found in you 
I'll be forever thankful baby 
You're the one who held me up 
Never let me fall 
You're the one who saw me through through it all 

You were my strength when I was weak 
You were my voice when I couldn't speak 
You were my eyes when I couldn't see 
You saw the best there was in me 
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach 
You gave me faith because you believed 
I'm everything I am 
Because you loved me... 

Maybe I don't know that much 
But I know this much is true 
I was blessed because I was loved by you 

You were always there for me 
The tender wind that carried me 
A light in the dark shining your love into my life 
You've been my inspiration 
Through the lies you were the truth 
My world is a better place because of you 

I'm everything I am 
Because you loved me

Gratitude. There it is; I've said it and many, many others have also. Maybe it's not been said as poignantly as the song lyrics state, but all the same, it's there.
Just yesterday a wind suddenly blew cool and clear; I inhaled and was filled with the merest whiff of a scent, borne on the wind. It recalled to me the times when I was needing a hand up and help from a kindred soul, one more alike than different.
The scent was intoxicating; it filled me full, madly, wildly, deeply and I was transported still again to the first meeting years ago to one who would be, for me, my help. I could not have known it then, but the winds of change were there, unmistakably there. Like it or not. And most of us tend to the 'don't like it.' The world is not static. It changes, sometimes quite rapidly. Sometimes we're ready to meet those challenges, sometimes not so much. 

For others changes mean depression, lasting and deep; yet it was through the saddest of eyes that my heart first leaped and the sense of hope rose. It rose high, like a kite soaring through the sky, and you were there. Even when against the wind, you were. In the end, after all was done, done mostly well, my life changed for the better because of you, a voice, an inspiration, because I could see through the lies to a truth that was always there.
And because you never truly let me fall. Listen carefully; the words are there. They've always been there. There is one who is come into the world, one who sees and who redeems all. We are blessed and truly innocent, starting anew.