Do You Hate Me?

"I'm with you until the end of time."  Matthew 28:20

     
The Flame

by Cheap Trick
LISTEN HERE

Sometimes the things we mean to communicate and what we actually do are not the same. Our interactions with others may be muddied by our own personal feelings and by prior experiences with any given individual. Then there is the issue of relational 'history,' or the old habits making changes or deviations seem difficult if not impossible. So when we talk to our friends and loved ones, misunderstandings and disappointments are inevitable. Resentments may boil and we often feel sudden flashes of
intense emotion, hatred even.

A good hypothesis here may be that the one feeling the hatred towards another is  projecting his or her feelings or attributes onto that other person, maybe some guilt or over- aggressiveness; however the deepest truth here may be that the hurt and twisted   angry feelings are small when viewed from the lens of self hatred now being projected onto our partners, loved one or friend.

Our impulse, like that of a child who has just been criticized about a small misdeed by a parent, is to become emotional, upset, angry, to take the superior position. So then we don't have to feel the regard of another, to 'protect' ourselves from feeling anything at all.

 The truth is, you may not be as horrid as you think; maybe someone did do something upsetting--do you now hate me? I already feel awful disappointing you; rather than getting mad and criticizing me, can you tell me in a more positive way?

Matthew 28:20

Timeliness

For the most part we are, in this western world, well practiced at the art of "telling time." We observe time on a clock, days on a calendar; we make appointments with others and we expect others to respect our "time."
It seems we are a culture who prefers the completed to the process of completion, control over products not the process, and that affects each of us in various ways. We make to-do lists; we say our day was "productive". While there are those writers, poets and artists who come along to remind us about the timelessness of the world, they are the minority.

We buy gadgets to "save" time and electronic devices to communicate "better or faster." Ironically today, more and more, those very same gadgets for some people do indeed speed their time along. They are now responsible for the deaths of more and more persons. What time did we think we were to "save"? How sophisticated is that-- death by texting? Heart attacks, panic attacks from stress?

In contrast our ancient wisdom is not clock driven at all. The author(s) of the book of Ecclesiastes tells us that "God has placed timelessness in our hearts."  There is time for planting, for reaping; time for joy, for mourning; time for laughter and for weeping, the author reminds us. Interestingly, the pairs of experiences given are lists not easily "scheduled" or controlled; their duration may be unknown.
For how long do we love or mourn? When is our joy and laughter to stop? By experience we learn that these things have their own process, their own time.
There is no appointment calendar to contain such experiences. And yet these are the very things that bind us together as a human family. They are immediately recognizable the world over. Living them teaches us compassion, what it is to be human. From birth to death we learn what is most precious to us; in silence, we learn to listen.
Let us now attend to the timelessness of our hearts.

Behind Me Satan

I'm Not A Perfect Person

 Hoobestank

LISTEN HERE

In the many teachings of the Christian life, none is greater than those dealing with Charity. All "natural" loves, those organic stirrings in the breast may be made full or whole in Charity with the acceptance of the gift as love.
While human emotion or sentimentality in itself may result in an affection which ultimately eats itself up, a love of need, a craving now satisfied, love as gift is looking towards another, one to receive the gift and the giver who gives it. This love is in proportion.

Can one love 'too much?' Loving in proportion is not simply about quantity, rather it places itself in relation to the Creator, the one who gives all from the first. Can then a love be too much for an earthly beloved? The question doesn't seek an answer as to emotional intensity. Rather is asks, whom do you serve, where do you place your treasure?

While all love, we are taught, comes from the Creator, there surely is nothing against fully engaging in human loves, nor for fear of disappointment or hurt as a result. In Luke 14:26 this is carried a step further. It introduces the notion of hate here. What is it to earthly love to hate? Why does Luke say it as he does?

He exclaims in this story, not that the Creator is counseling hate, but rather he is exclaiming to all who wish a taste of divine charity, to 'get behind me,' that they set themselves against the hateful, make no concession to it, nor to the beloved when the beloved calls however sweetly, prompts of Satan, the devil.

A man, retorts the Christ, cannot serve two masters. Either he serves the good or he serves the other. The humble in a sense of Grace may have the sense of service to the One, a knowledge of the Creator herself; only knowledge because the source is so vast.

God is Love, declares Paul. "Not that we loved, but that God has loved us.' 1John 4:10. John declares this not as an entry to mysticism, but as a real beginning, that love is divine energy. This energy loved into being all that exists on earth as a Divine creation.

It is a Creator's love directed to what one finds intrinsically unloveable: the murderer, the thief, the deviant, the cheat, and others, but through a movement of the Holy Spirit, charity comes into play and one gives something of that divine energy, something of ones' own heart, rendering the unloveable more divine, more lovable. All may be clothed in the Christ.

Luke it seems, recognized that there is the complex, unloveable in all of us; that in our darkest recesses are those vague, unformed impulses driving towards the evil energies fully present in the world. Luke 8:11-15
 In the book of Matthew there, further insists that Charity, the Love energy was greater, thus he demands, "Get behind me Satan!"  Mat. 16:23

Radical Grace

Radical Grace

Bent, banged, broken

radical grace

entered upon me in my darkness

my violent grief

A stone too large 

to carry

rocky beginning

stony ends

radical grace 

entered upon me in my confusion

Wretched, cold, wicked
a race to the lowest
heavy, despair
radical grace 

entered upon me my fears released

Divine

All rights reserved 2011 

Forgiveness and grace go hand in hand, it seems. When at first we understand that grace, while possibly as mysterious as love, is a free gift given, and also a gift received. And when we are keenly aware of our failing, our meanness and infliction of vile upon others and think that no one will forgive us this time, a light enters. It fills our heart with the pure, clean vision of a love that clears the way forward, and a hope fills the air. No, not this time.
How many times must we forgive? "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22
In her recording, Come to My Window, singer Melissa Etheridge touches upon this. She sings perhaps intuitively, "I stand inside my hell, hold the hand of death, what do they know about this love, anyway... Come into my window, come by the light of the moon; I'll be coming home."

Wishing For What Is True

The Policy of Truth

By Depeche Mode

Listen Here

You had something to hide
Should have hidden it, shouldn't you?
Now you're not satisfied
With what you're being put through

It's just time to pay the price
For not listening to advice
And deciding in your youth
On the policy of truth

Things could be so different now
It used to be so civilized
You will always wonder how
It could have been if you'd only lied

It's too late to change events
It's time to face the consequence
For delivering the proof
In the policy of truth

Never again
Is what you swore
The time before...

Now you're standing there tongue tied
You better learn your lesson well
Hide what you have to hide
And tell what you have to tell

You'll see your problems multiplied
If you continually decide
To faithfully pursue
The policy of truth

Never again
Is what you swore
The time before...

In today's world many are jaded; so it seems that even in the face of a measure of truth, some still resist. Are they listening or thinking? Why resist what must be? A thing in itself is still itself as the philosophers say. Should we 'have hidden it?'
Should the policy of truth be the guide to human relationships? Hide what you have to hide/tell what you have to tell... sounds somewhat prudent, even wise. But then the fall comes. And the truth is critical to it all. In every life there are unintended consequences to our behaviors and actions. We simply do not control any of the other actors in life and that's annoying, to say the least.

Events take place that we could not possibly have anticipated, or even imagined, so far from our normal understanding they are. So what then? It seems that finally, we just have to deal, as the expression goes.
 Deal with what comes from others, deal with our consequences, even if what we contributed bore unintended and negative results. Just deal with it. The Bible has many things to say about the truth of anything, a truth which admits to change:

They sent their disciples to him, with the Herodians, saying,
"Teacher, we know that you are a truthful man and that you teach the
way of God in accordance with the truth. And you are
not concerned with anyone's opinion, for you do not regard a person's status.

 Tell us, then, what is your opinion: Is it lawful to pay the
    census tax to Caesar or not?"
    Knowing their malice, Jesus said, "Why are you testing me, you
    hypocrites?
      Show me the coin that pays the census tax." Then they handed him
    the Roman coin.
    He said to them, "Whose image is this and whose inscription?"
    They replied, "Caesar's."  At that he said to them, "Then repay to
    Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God."
    "Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?"
    He said to him,  "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your
    heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.
    This is the greatest and the first commandment.
    The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Bible Matthew 23:16-21; 36-39

Truth telling after reading the Christian disciple Matthew, and carefully considering the meaning takes on another dimension. Here it 's not the childish "I cannot tell a lie," but the skillfulness of discernment. One can and must know what is true, or not hang his hat there.
Even if one did not like the Emperor Caesar, one was still obliged to pay him homage; if one did not agree with the Roman policies, one still was obliged to pay heed to them, and if one was to love his neighbor as himself, then one is to tell truth as needs to be told to enact the love of self and neighbor. To do otherwise, in the Christian view, is to delude the self with deceits that one then deals others.

Hold On, My Heart

Hold On My Heart

By Genesis. 1991
LISTEN HERE

Hold on, my heart
Just hold on to that feeling

Hold on, my heart
Just hold on to that feeling
We both know we've been here before
We both know what can happen

Hold on, my heart
'cause I'm looking over you shoulder
Please don't rush in this time
Don't show her how you feel

Hold on, my heart
Throw me a lifeline
I'll keep a place for you
Somewhere deep inside
Hold on, my heart

Please tell her to be patient
'Cause there has never been a time
That I wanted something more
If I can recall this feeling
And I know there's a chance
Oh I will be there
Yes I will be there
Be there for you

Whenever you want me to
Whenever you call I will be there
Yes I will be there
We both know we've been here before
We both know what can happen

Hold on my heart
'cause I'm looking over you shoulder
Please don't rush in this time
Don't show her how you feel

Hold on, my heart
Throw me a lifeline
I'll keep a place for you
Somewhere deep inside

Hold on, my heart
Please tell her to be patient
'Cause there has never been a time
That I wanted something more

If I can recall this feeling
And I know there's a chance
Oh I will be there
Yes I will be there

Be there for you
Whenever you want me to
Whenever you call I will be there

Yes I will be there...

The teaching is that the Christ will return, the shepherd collecting his flock. He realizes the importance of the devotion of the disciples and wants them to know he will be with them, to the end of time; however there is risk. The risk that they may not be loyal, they may not remain faithful to the One, the All, who makes the sun and the moon, the very heart of all the Christ has come to share. Yet he assures all that he, the Christ will remain until the end of time. -- St. Matthew 28:20

Tell her to be patient, the world is not yet ready, the place held open for all to enter is a deep, profound mystery. The Spirit makes a place for one and all. Hold on, my heart. I'll be there.

The Chicken and the Pig

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,take up his cross, and follow me...What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?"

I Can Fly

by R. Kelly

LISTEN HERE

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day

Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it...

The chicken and the pig may be a way to illustrate this teaching, a paradox like so many of the Christ's teachings. This little saying of the chicken and the pig goes like this: In the course of preparing a typical bacon, egg and toast breakfast there is some distinction to be made. For while the chicken gives an egg to the breakfast, the pig makes the total sacrifice. And the Christ challenges us likewise with his passion and death on the Cross. He exhorts one to make a commitment, to pick up ones' cross and follow as disciples.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,take up his cross, and follow me.  For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father’s glory, and then he will repay everyone according to his conduct.  Amen, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”   St. Matthew 24-28
This is the prime condition of a disciple. And a chief mystery of faith is that we may first believe and then see. Belief has not a lot to do with facts or intellect. It is the gift of simple knowing. One just knows or senses deeply within the rightness of a feeling, a person or a relationship with others.

Social Work in the Absence of Faith

"the value of observation over judgment was lost upon her, lost as she thought that her life was really somewhere else, somewhere not in this and every moment."

 Discerning rather than judging is hard; often it's really hard. We are reminded in most all the spiritual traditions east or west, about the practice of openness, of emptiness and the great gifts it brings when we are empty to receive in the here and now. Our life is filled moment to moment with the world and ourselves, filled to the top.
The militancy of  persons engaged in 'social initiatives,' 'community action' or the like is unnecessary in Jesus' world. Often it arises in moments of fearfulness, places where 'voids in faith' prosper.
The Christ's strength came from within himself to be shared with all he came into contact with. His peace became their peace, and his love their own.

Jesus, the Christ, reminds us of this when we read the gospels which tell of his decided indifference to the character and style of an individual life. Tax collectors, despots, harlots and others, he was willing to treat them, to attend to the great commandment of love for one's neighbor.

Who is your neighbor? The gospel of Luke 10:30-37 gives some clues:
A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell among robbers, who also stripped him and having wounded him went away, leaving him half dead.  And it chanced, that a certain priest went down the same way: and seeing him, passed by. In like manner also a Levite, when he was near the place and saw him, passed by.  
But a certain Samaritan, being on his journey, came near him: and seeing him, was moved with compassion: And going up to him, bound up his wounds, pouring oil and wine over his wounds, and setting him upon his own beast, brought him to an inn and took care of him.  
And the next day he took out two pence and gave to the host and said: Take care of him; and whatsoever you shall spend over and above, I, at my return, will repay you.  Which of these three, in your opinion, was neighbor to him that fell among the robbers?  He said: He that showed mercy to him. And Jesus said to him: Go, and do in like manner.

 It is not necessary to go far to meet one which you and your gifts may help. Neighbors are everywhere. If we are living in the "now moment," the present moment with its most pressing meaning, before long, we will come to understand our self first and our neighbor more clearly who is very human, like our self.
 It becomes clear that a thinking mind may observe and notice without casting stones or passing judgements. 

Questions, after all, are about listening. And they start conversations that may close gaps, increase confidence and strengthen community. Discernment and compassion in place of quick judgement is a valuable way to understand, and to love.

"If only we could be white as snow." 
-- sung by U2

Ways of Sincerity, More Than One

   UPSTREAM COLOR --2013

Author and theologian Thomas Merton wrote about a facet of human nature which he calls fears of the truth. And there are several. In particular, he addresses the meaning of sincerity in every day life.
While much in our lives is motivated by our fears, Merton notes that "sincerity is a simplicity of spirit which is preserved by the will to be true. It implies an obligation to manifest the truth and to defend it... Sincerity in the fullest sense is a divine gift."
He notes that it takes more "courage than we imagine to be perfectly simple with other men... False sincerity has much to say because it is afraid. Yet true candor cannot be silent. It does not need to face an impending attack. Anything... may be defended with perfect simplicity."

In the end, by Merton's reckoning, sincerity is really an issue of love. The sincere one is one who seeks the truth and embodies it. Truth then is not just an abstraction. It is real, living flesh, like yours and mine.
Many in today's world fear that they are not really lovable, not lovable to the extent they think they deserve. And others fear that a lack of real, meaningful love in our lives indicates that "since we are not lovable as we are, we must be lovable under false pretenses, making ourself appear to be different that we are."

In the conclusion to his essay, No Man Is An Island, Merton writes that so few believe in God because they do not believe that even a god can love them. The man who will admit that what he sees may be wrong with him, and recognizes that he may be, still, the object of God's love precisely because of his shortcomings can make a start to become sincere. His love is based then upon confidence rather than the falseness of illusion.

The film Upstream Color examines the lives of two deeply imperfect, and in some ways, flawed individuals. While much is remarked upon the film's abstraction, the central characters meet, develop and share an intense love for one another that becomes based in sincerity.
She suffers from a serious mental illness and he, from a professional shortcoming that results in the loss of the licensing required to carry out his profession. Initially she offers up certain details of her illness, while he initially withholds facts about his own situation.

The resulting social stigma he bears from past indiscretions and the stigma of her illness, combine to create a powerful portrait of two people picking their way through the world, salvaging and in a measure, redeeming themselves, and each other through sincere love.
The simplicity of the film is provided by the many scenes of nature and the interactions with that nature. The film maker leaves us with a certain ambiguity in those scenes, to believe or not. The effect is both spiritually powerful and insightful.

Praying the 'Our Father'

There are times in a life when we feel our problems and pressures take over our days at the expense of our hopes and our faith; sometimes we feel that the issues we face are unique, that we must face them now alone. It is frightening to feel out on a limb, alone without the support of the community. Yet for many, their day to day existence is just that.
Author, theologian and Priest Alfred McBride O,Praem., writes a fine story that many will find useful as a springboard for their spiritual growth. His topic: the ever present prayer. He includes in his book, the Our Father (Pater Nostre). Prayed by millions for centuries the prayer is both simple for a child to recite and an adult to ponder. He calls his book, How to Pray Like Jesus and the Saints.

His book is composed of 10 chapters; each explores the spirituality of mystics, poets and Doctors of the Church, those from whom she has derived much wisdom over the centuries. The 'Our Father' prayer he writes, is "crisp and short." Each of its seven parts invites interpretation and consideration. The antiquity of this prayer, has invited many commentaries, some as ancient as those of Saint Cyprian of Carthage.
It is written in the plural, so that when one prays it, he or she prays not for them self alone but in the plural, we/our. It directs one to think of 'Our Father' rather than simply 'my father.'

This sets the universal tone which follows through the other six verses. It distinguishes God the Father, God the Creator, from the unique, personal father, our earthly father which each one of us may know. It encourages that we identify with this One, universal Father, that we may be community for one another, the Body of the Christ.

'Hallowed be thy Name' the next verse reflects the holy, divine nature of the Creator. The one who prays, prays for the gift of holiness of the Creator personally for all mankind.
'Thy Kingdom Come,' the third verse of the prayer asks that we accept God's will. It acknowledges that the kingdom has already arrived, that mankind might cooperate with the agency of Creation, so as to know their own spark of divinity. This unceasing prayer is for a "kingdom of love, justice, holiness, salvation [from evil]… and the grace of divine life." It lends its sanctity to the whole of human activity within every heart.
'Thy Will Be Done' is perhaps the most spiritually challenging directive of the seven verses. It seeks more than acceptance of the Kingdom, the created world that all can see and touch, but more abstractly, the will of the Creator itself a thing which cannot be easily perceived with the eyes; rather it is more of the heart.
'Give Us this Day Our Daily Bread' which in one sense is the literal daily food we eat to survive, but also it's about the spiritual side of our lives, that which sustains and enlivens us and our faith.
'Forgive Us Our Trespasses as We Forgive Those Who Trespass Against Us,' the spiritual and emotional pains of daily life are nearly unavoidable.
Spiritually everyone who suffers at times needs to be able to release their pains to return to the spiritual state of the child who is loving, without resentment and the essence of forgiveness, hopeful and forward looking.
'Lead Us Not Into Temptation' the Creator makes his creations free, without hold; this is his loving desire that is imparted upon all. While the freedom to choose to love is the ultimate spiritual desire, God recognizes that humanity may be tempted and drawn away from the common good; how many times we are tempted to choose what is our detriment! This verse strengthens our resolve to turn from evil, to walk in the light.
And finally, the seventh verse directly prays that we may be 'But Deliver(ed) Us From Evil.' author McBride recalls C.S. Lewis' book, The Screwtape Letters, a satire in which there is much tempting of mankind by a devil called, Screwtape who lures people to tolerate and perpetuate wrong doing.

In participating in acts of evil, ones' conscience is dampened over time; the harm which may result becomes more obscure to the perpetrator and establishes a new norm-- that they them self are at the center of their own universe. Sadly it more often leads to a slavery of the spiritual self, an attraction of evil for evil, deceit for deceit and a coldness of heart. Screwtape, we learn, is foiled by an encounter with love and the mercy of the Christ which brings Creation back into the community of the Creator.
Pray this prayer often; let it touch you deeply.

The Short Run, a Requiem

"Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" -- St. Matthew 9:11

Love's Divine

Performed by Seal

LISTEN HERE

Then the rainstorm came, over me
And I felt my spirit break
I had lost all of my belief, you see
And realize my mistake
But time through a prayer, to me
And all around me, became still

I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Through the rainstorm came, sanctuary
And I felt my spirit fly
I had felt, all of my, reality
I realize what it takes

Cause I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh, I don't bend, don't break,
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
Cause love can help me know my name

Well, I try to say there's nothing wrong
But inside, I felt it lying all along
But the message here was plain to see
Believe in me
Cause I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don't bend, don't break,
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
Cause love can help me know my name

Love can help me know my name.

 Love indeed helps us to know our name; it was ultimately an untimely end. The beginning seemed like any other -- the birth, the growing, the troubles, the training, and the boy became a man. For one young man, he was born and died in exactly the same place, almost 30 years apart. His end a shock, so utterly unexpected.

There is no dress rehearsal for life, no practice sessions; just a lot of chances for "do-overs" when we screw up. Reckoning the mistake(s) from the first attempt, often we conclude it's worth a second try to do it better, to do it right. So we try again, and many times it is better, and so right. Finally we succeed and recognize our successes and accomplishments; death is the exception, always final, a result.

Like all lives, there is little in the way of 'perfect' and many, like he did, suffer from less than perfect families, less than perfect parents. Parents often negligent or indulgent, sometimes so simply pre-occupied with their own life, they hardly notice the life of their child unfolding beneath their own noses. 

The child grows up restless, wild; in grade school the police enter the picture. They call parents down to the station to pick up this child. Again and again it happens. He learns to smoke and drink, becoming now a 'wild child.'

 As he enters high school, his often pre-occupied parents, become entangled with the police due to problems of their own. They're convicted, both for the same offense. A child with the merest conscience feels embarrassed. His family is in the newspaper; what do the neighbors, his school, his friends think? 
He cares for them all and hopes, needs their acknowledgement, their friendship. Yet these events drive him to secretiveness. He wants to hold his head, to maintain others' esteem.

...your teacher eats with tax collectors and sinners-- is written in the bible in the way of explanation for who was the person of the Christ.  He was, as it's written, one who endeavored to love his neighbor as himself, to forgo absolute judgement and to forgive those who trespass against us and others. 

With disappointments and betrayal come bitter anger, a desire to harm another. Most of us think, we could never do that... never do another bodily harm. When some one we know, care for or love comes under violent attack, even death, it's easy to think that the perpetrator is somehow so very different from ones' self. 
And yet we're human, each and every one of us. It's one of life's challenges to come to grips with this fact.

Secretiveness however, very often becomes a poison, eating away at ones' youth and early manhood. This young man continues to try and still doesn't often succeed. There are to be more contacts with the police; a wild child is trying but not winning the very thing he most wants: to know who he is and what is to be his purpose in life. With high school graduation behind him the world waits... and waits... He's not ready, doesn't know what to do.

Some how, some way he finds a path to further education, to people who support him, to the positive teacher who will inspire him; he begins little by little to believe, to unfold his protective shell. 
To believe that he can succeed, he believes more and more in himself, his natural talents and the will to gain more skills. Acquiring more companions on the way, a community to claim for his own, this young man is now moving forward with some answers to the questions that nag us all. 
A 'eureka' moment gives him the drive to try a business on his own. Wonderful.

But life, whether long or short, has its ups and downs, and tragedy. So sad-- this tragedy, a life so full, so young, so hopeful; a family destroyed now, each and every one of them. The culprit waits for his day, in jail. We mourn a young man's death. Our grief is apparent.

Gender Identities

And he made each one in his own likeness.  --Genesis 1:25-26

Daisy Jane

by America

LISTEN HERE

Flyin' me back to Memphis
Gotta find my Daisy Jane
Well the summer's gone
And I hope she's feelin' the same

Well, I just left her to roam the city

Thinkin' it would ease the pain
I'm a crazy man
And I'm playin' my crazy game
Does she really love me?
I think she does
Like the stars above me, I know because
When the sky is bright
Everything's alright

Flyin' me back to Memphis
Honey keep the oven warm
All the clouds are clearin'
And I think we're over the storm

Well I've been pickin' it up around me
Daisy I think I'm sane
Well I'm awful glad
And I guess you're really to blame, blame

Do you really love me?
I hope you do
Like the stars above me, how I love you
When it's cold at night
Everything's all right

Does she really love me?
I think she does
Like the stars above me, I know because
When the sky is bright
Everything's alright

Today's media is all ablaze with reports of which public restrooms are one to use; who will put what signage where? There is an increased perception that humans, made in the image of the Divine Creator are, maybe, not so divine after all. Maybe they're off kilter, mixed-up; it's become quite political. What ever spiritual base it may have is unclear to many these days. Is an individual life, a struggle, confusion towards what is and what is not? Is it like Daisy Jane?

Ms. Schick, American author, Christian writer, speaker and the daughter of a man whom she describes as suffering from Gender Identity Disorder, the result being that he viewed himself not as the Divine did create, but rather as female. For the writer and her family, they came under a great deal of challenge and discord. She writes now of it in several of her books; most recently, Understanding Gender Confusion.

She writes largely from personal experience, from what she has learned and from a primary view of catholic, Christian faith. Regardless of what side of the fence one resides, her experiences are validly her own.
As Christians we are called to love our neighbors as our self, and to give expression to the dignity of all Creation. The prime concern she writes, is to address the pain and confusion of these souls, saying there is in each case, a primary disconnect, "a psychological separation from one's true existence."

She writes also that God the Creator is indeed "very interested in all aspects of our lives."

Matthew 12:10; Luke 6:20 

Belief versus Faith

"Do not fear, only believe." --Gospel of Mark 5:36

Suzanne

by Roberta Flack

Listen Here
... Jesus was a sailor
When he walked upon the water
He spent a long time
Watching from a lonely wooden tower

And when He knew for certain
That only drowning men could see Him
He said, "All men shall be sailors then
Until the sea shall free them"

But He Himself was broken
Long before the sky would open
He was forsaken, almost human
He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone

But you wanna travel with Him
And you wanna travel blind
And you think maybe you'll trust Him
For He's touched your perfect body with His mind

Suzanne takes you down
To the place by the river
She's wearing rags and feathers
From Salvation Army's counters

And the sun pours down like honey
On our lady of the harbor
And she shows you where to look
Amid the garbage and the flowers...

Be not afraid; come follow me; do not fear, only believe-- these are the central philosophies of the Christ. Jesus, we learn in the Bible, makes them among his central points. Fear must be overcome with faith firmly planted in its place. While fear may be a valuable response as part of a self-preservation instinct, it can also be destructive, paralyzing, controlling us, preventing our living life as the Spirit might direct, unresponsive to free will. The mature person seeks to learn what is in his and others best interest, and endeavors towards those aims. He or she avoids what is contrary and stands against those ills as they may be able.

Frequently the Bible stories serve as imperatives; they prod, define and refine the mind of the reader, so that we may become believers. In this particular story, Jesus recounts his journey to the foreign community of the Gerasenes, who were not Israelites. While there he heals the mind of a deeply troubled man (Mark 5:19-20). He then implores his followers to overlook those peoples' faults and shortcomings, and urges them to bring the message of hope and belief to them.
Continue with the story. Read Mark chapter 5 verses 21-43.

While many will doubt the words they read of a long ago account, faith asks us to "have ears" as the ancient Israelite did, and to hear the message within the story because it is a parable. Today the emotional state of anxiety and fearfulness seem ever more prevalent.
Many of us seek treatment for anxiety and stress in a doctors office with pills and other medication; while these preparations often do effectively tamp down or mask our sensory impulses towards anxiety and fearfulness, the calm of our own mind though the peace the Christ seeks to impart upon us, is not part of the medical equation. Thus we are less free and more under the influence of the drug or other medication.

While some may require medication and rightly so, there is a degree of calm, a direction for all which may be the fruit of the Spirit descended into our lives. It is the nature of the Spirit to come calling upon all, but not by any force or coercion; Spirit knocks. We either answer or we don't and if not, the Spirit is free and it flies. It will not force its way upon anyone.The Christ brings a message of the possibility of freedom from fear: "Do not be afraid, I am with you always."

What is belief, what is faith? We hear the phrase, 'just have faith!' So what is it? Most of us take for granted that religion is a set or system of beliefs; it is to many strictly concerned with beliefs and the adherence to those beliefs. This however is a rather narrow view; the Spirit comes to free us, not entangle us upon a set of dictum.
Many of the world's religions are not characterized primarily by beliefs at all, but by practice, about appropriate behaviors. So it happens that faith is about relationships, and belief is about ways of doing and being.

One of the most unfortunate aspects of religion, all religion, no religion in particular, is that as a facet of life, it instills a set of beliefs very successfully in many without ever bringing a person to faith. Many are familiar with the story, "I attended as a child, but fell away..."
Since both belief and faith formation are important in the spiritual life, one without the other does not often succeed. As persons of faith, we engage and refine our beliefs within relationships, within communities. So the teaching, "love one another," becomes real; it becomes the imperative in faith.

The Worker

"Hell is not to love anyone, anymore"  --author George Bernanos, The Diary of a Country Priest

It's a lifetime job. When we think we just can't do it another day, always something intervenes, and we go on; we find the light, the way beyond to the challenge to love once more, one more day.
Love, they say, is a gift; a gift from God. Its origins are mysterious, its source an eternal well springing forth cool waters, peace for our soul. Yet it 's the one, single thing that makes work easier because of  this love we bear for each other, even in unexpected moments. 
The Work, tasks undertaken for others, becomes incrementally more and more difficult to the degree in which conflict  (read: conflict as the ego-who-is-I) enters; quarreling, dissension, hearts full with a Spirit of Criticism, or Competition; those drain the purpose for our being, the reasons for which we live every day. This makes many sad in their day and feeling life without good purpose.

An important distinction to make is the difference between shining a light upon oneself and a light shone upon others. We are Workers, here to bear the faults of others patiently, with grace and the prayerful hope that living in any given moment, we may share that grace with others.

Be humble in the Work, engage with mutual charity; see all and yet remain simple minded. Although some will surely say that you are blind, that you do not see the faults and crimes of others. Be still, because you do. 
The difficulty is not seeing the faults, for they are very often so obvious to onlookers, but  have the courage to look past them to the grace and the beauty that surely is there. To see others virtues, positive aspects and skills, and encourage their development, is a crucial activity of the Christian Worker.

The community which is composed of lay people, those lacking formal, religious training from say a monastery or a convent, may initially find it difficult to regulate themselves as a group working within the frame of Christ's charity; Saint Paul knew this well. 
The Bible records many a letter from Paul to the early Christian communities exhorting them to practice and follow the ways, the teachings of the Christ. Thus the temptation to criticize is strong, the will to patience may be weak.
 
Yet we must always recall that each and everyone has come to community of his or her own free will; the Spirit has moved them there. Sometimes within a community the most overtly passionate, the most open and strong willed among us, those who speech is aggressive, whose passion flows towards a state of "activism," who are quick to call out others-- those ones will indeed find division. Without good leadership such persons may undo the work of service that the Christian community is called to. This antithesis of the Catholic Worker movement is decidedly detrimental to the growth of the faithful. 

With division fully operational, it is not hard to imagine why things are not running smoothly, why the spirit of peace and justice do not materialize. Leaders, true christian leaders are hard to find. The very best are as the Beatitudes preach: humble, kindhearted, steadfast, filled with the love of the Holy Spirit. It is sometimes these very virtues that make it hard for the humble to assume leadership. Yet like Saint Paul, they must.

The Christian Worker movement is one in which each member may, through his or her daily work, find peace and the love of the Christ, returned to them thru those whom they serve and in return, quite possibly, discover on their own, personal reasons  what is important in life, and what they will do in that lifetime.

 Responding to this challenge of the work of a lifetime is found in our beating hearts, alongside the love each brings, the love they bear. In doing the Work, love, we learn, is not the least weak; it's strong, patient, kind, forbearing, slow to seek revenge, sooner to seek peace through forgiveness. 
This love is not a brittle, fickle affection; rather a hard won, passionate love as the Christ on the Cross who endures. Those following in His steps are the Workers, the Jesus people.
Corinthians 13

Finding Meaning in Everyday Work and Love

Rose of All the World
by poet D.H. Lawrence

I am here myself; as though this heave of effort
At starting other life, fulfilled my own;
Rose-leaves that whirl in colour round a core
Of seed-specks kindled lately and softly blown

By all the blood of the rose-bush into being -
Strange, that the urgent will in me, to set
My mouth on hers in kisses, and so softly
To bring together two strange sparks, beget

Another life from our lives, so should send
The innermost fire of my own dim soul out-spinning
And whirling in blossom of flame and being upon me!
That my completion of manhood should be the beginning

Another life from mine! For so it looks.
The seed is purpose, blossom accident.
The seed is all in all, the blossom lent
To crown the triumph of this new descent.

Is that it, woman? Does it strike you so?
The Great Breath blowing a tiny seed of fire
Fans out your petals for excess of flame,
Till all your being smokes with fine desire?

Or are we kindled, you and I, to be
One rose of wonderment upon the tree
Of perfect life, and is our possible seed
But the residuum of the ecstasy?

How will you have it? - the rose is all in all,
Or the ripe rose-fruits of the luscious fall?
The sharp begetting, or the child begot?
Our consummation matters, or does it not?

To me it seems the seed is just left over
From the red rose-flowers' fiery transience;
Just orts and slarts; berries that smoulder in the bush
Which burnt just now with marvellous immanence.

Blossom, my darling, blossom, be a rose
Of roses unchidden and purposeless; a rose
For rosiness only, without an ulterior motive;
For me it is more than enough if the flower unclose.

While the above is poetry by the famed novelist D. H. Lawrence; the Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy, another important literary figure, also suffered similar questions about the meaning of life.
Both men had strong religious and spiritual experiences in their boyhoods. Tolstoy's novels include War and Peace and Anna Karenina, translated from Russian into English, standing out as some of his best.  A deeply spiritual man, Tolstoy, often wrestled with questions about the meaning of life. A scion of a well to do family, he received an excellent education; he married a beautiful woman, fathered 13 children, possessed considerable inherited wealth, and he suffered from periods of serious depression. At times thought he might kill himself.

Writing in a book he titled,  A Confession, Tolstoy chronicles his long search for the meaning of his life. He writes of a desire to bury himself in writing to avoid these other issues in his life; unsure and sometimes conflicted about his life’s deeper meaning, Tolstoy fell in and out of depression. Life events often were the trigger for his depressive episodes. Living through these times was deeply challenging to him. As he aged, they became more severe and longer lasting.

Pondering what he saw as possible meaning, he contrasted this awareness with the knowledge of sure death, the end of mortal life. He recoiled from the thought that all that he was in the world would be annihilated at the moment of his death. Eventually he stumbled upon the “Sermon on the Mount” and was deeply inspired by it. He came to see that his deepest, truest purpose was to forge a living relationship with a loving, creative god.

He now saw his purpose in doing the work of illuminating the Kingdom of Heaven on earth (Both men in fact often write about the kingdom of heaven, using representational symbols). This revelation relieved and changed him; he viewed himself and others in this new light. For the first time, those who had served him and his family, for as long as their lifetimes, were treated with kindness and respect for their efforts. He gave to the poor in his community and dedicated his remaining years to the improvement of the lives of those less fortunate that he. Leo Tolstoy, novelist, wealthy heir, landowner, found peace and a deep, abiding love in the life of service, through following the Christ.

Amazement of Creation

Wonder

by Natalie Merchant

Listen Here

Doctors have come
from distant cities
just to see me

stand over my bed
disbelieving what they're seeing
they say I must be one of the wonders
of God's own creation

and as far as they can see they can offer
no explanation
newspapers ask
intimate questions
want confessions
reach into my head
to steal the glory
of my story

they say I must be one of the wonders
of God's own creation
and as far as they can see they can offer
no explanation

I believe
fate smiled and destiny
laughed as she came to my cradle
know that this child will be able
laughed as my body she lifted
know this child will be gifted
with love. with patience,
and with faith she'll make her way

people see me
I'm a challenge
to your balance
I'm over your heads
how I confound you
and astound you
to know I must be one of the wonders
of God's own creation

and as far as you can see you can offer me
no explanation
I believe...

The wonders of creation. Early spring brings all its own natural joys. We look forward to more time out doors, more direct interaction with the natural world. Many, including me will be gardening, planting, mowing, soaking up some sun. I contrast this with a year ago when I was not up to so much activity. The wonders of God's creation. It seems that "fate smiled, and destiny."

To be a 'child gifted with faith, patience and love' we make our way. Without the most basic elements, the air we breathe, the many wonders of creation, the lifetimes we experience would be very different. What would they be? Would they be? And yes, "I'm a challenge to your balance." Walking the way of faith is counter-intuitive; it is in many ways radical. To believe what you cannot see, to trust in the wind you only feel, may indeed be confounding. But do it anyway. You will be challenged and rewarded in many ways.

No one has really offered an adequate explanation for this earth. We try, but its vastness and many facets are daunting; to know that we are one "of the wonders of God's creation" is the most incomprehensible and amazing of all. We share in creation as both a Creator and as a result. While we're not perfect in the least, we are so very lovable, as one of God's creation. Happy spring.

 

The Christ Way

I (still) Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

by U2

Listen Here

I have climbed the highest mountains 

I have run through the fields 

Only to be with you Only to be with you 

I have run, I have crawled 

I have scaled these city walls These city walls 

Only to be with you 

But I still haven't found What I'm looking for 

But I still haven't found What I'm looking for 

I have kissed honey lips 

Felt the healing in her finger tips 

It burned like fire (I was) Burning inside her 

 I have spoke with the tongue of angels 

I have held the hand of a devil 

It was warm in the night I was cold as a stone 

But I still haven't found What I'm looking for 

But I still haven't found What I'm looking for 

I believe in the Kingdom Come 

Then all the colors will bleed into one Bleed into one 

But, yes, I'm still running 

You broke the bonds And you loosed the chains 

Carried the cross of my shame Oh, my shame, 

you know I believe it 

But I still haven't found What I'm looking for 

But I still haven't found What I'm looking for...

What are we looking for? Why even look? Soon enough, it'll all be over, some say.
The Bible makes many interesting claims. For example in Galatians chapter 6 it discusses the new way of the Christ and the life of his followers. In a phrase, "For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he is deluding himself." 
Here a life of delusion is mentioned. But what is the context? Perhaps it's a caution about comparing oneself to others, since each is a reflection of the divine Creator, and as such possesses his or her own unique talents and gifts. If this is true, then what are we looking for--and why would we look outside our own selves? Yet in the chapter, Galatians makes it clear that the community is important, that the community matters as a development of faith.

Is not love of one's neighbor an action that means to encourage and support each in their unique goodness and well-being? Galatians chapter 5 affirms this thought: "For you were called to freedom, brothers. But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh; rather, serve one another through love"
This is the Christ way.

The Challenge

'No one comes to the Father except though me'--John 14:6

Come To the Water

by John Foley, S.J.

Listen Here

Let all who thirst,

let them come to the water.

And let all who have nothing,

let them come to the Lord...

And let all who seek,

let them come to the water.

And let all who have nothing,

let them come to the Lord...

And let all who toil,

let them come to the water.

And let all who are weary,

let them come to the Lord...

And let all the poor,

let them come to the water,

Bring the ones who are laden,

bring them all to the Lord:

bring the children without might.

Easy the load and light:

come to the Lord.

While initially the bible verse, 'no one comes to the Father except though me' John 14:6; John 35-37 may be perplexing, daunting or even received with open doubt-- it may be also regarded as a stop sign for some; recalling the general commandment of the Lord God 'to love your neighbor as yourself,' then its significance becomes more clear.

The Christ wishes to make it known that the commandment to love isn't talk, it isn't a pretty phrase; instead it is the teaching to all growing in faith; faith is given in measures by the One Lord, by God the Creator of all. The Christ is saying that if you earnestly follow the teachings, follow the commandments, then you too will like me, ascend to paradise.

Even so many with rational, scientific minds will question, will doubt or reject this saying out of hand. Is this the only way? No. Is it the Christian way? Yes.
May the peace and grace of God's love for mankind be with you and yours. Always. Amen.

Liking and Knowing

Vision of Love

1990-- by Mariah Carey

Listen Here

Treated me kind, sweet destiny

Carried me through desperation to the one
that was waiting for me

You took so long, still I believed

Somehow the one that I needed would find me eventually

Somehow the one that I needed would find me eventually

I had a vision of love and it was all that you've given to me

I had a vision of love

And it was all that you've given to me

Prayed through the nights, felt so alone

Suffered from alienation, carried the weight on my own

Had to be strong, so I believed

And now I know I've succeeded in finding
the place I conceived
I've realized a dream

And I visualized the love that came to be

Feel so alive, I'm so thankful that I've received

The answer that heaven has sent down to me
You treated me kind, sweet destiny

And I'll be eternally grateful, holding you so close to me

Prayed through the nights, so faithfully

Knowing the one that I needed
would find me eventually...

"Every person is indescribably complex, and so to speak, an uneven good."  --Karol Wojtyla, later John Paul II

Liking a person is very closely connected with knowledge, "who you turned out to be...," records the lyrics. The base of attraction is an impression, a disposition to regard the other as a value; it is the developed commitment to think of that person as a certain good. Such commitment can only be enacted by the will.
 'I want,' is implicit in 'I like.' Thus the will is committed by attraction, and attraction commits the will. This may be difficult to grasp intellectually; yet the song Vision of Love  makes this point emotionally, poignantly.

"Every person is indescribably complex, and so to speak, an uneven good," writes theologian Wojtyla. "Man and woman alike are by nature bodily and spiritual beings; they are such a being, seen by one another; in this way, each attracts the other.
All the potential goods or values that a given person may respond to derive from the object of this attraction. Each, then, attracts the other. For example, in y's attraction to x, the value most strongly in evidence is one which y finds in x, and to which y reacts most strongly."This one could say is the visioning, the imaging that the lyrics here speak to.

Also there's fact that y is particularly sensitive to it, particularly quick to perceive and respond to it. The mind, the thinking process, therefore plays a part in attraction, combined together with the emotions, such that a potent guide emerges in the mix as an important feature, strikingly evident in attraction.
"But this fact creates a certain internal difficulty in the sexual lives of persons. This difficulty is inherent in the relationship of experience to truth." Feelings often arise spontaneously. Where feelings are functioning naturally, they are unconcerned about truth. This is lust.
Truth for a man is a task of both his experience and his reason. This is why in any attraction, especially one of a sexual nature, the question of the truth about the person towards whom attraction is felt for, is so important.

Often people "generally believe that love can largely be reduced to a question of genuineness of feelings; although this is impossible to completely deny, we must still insist, if we are concerned about the quality of the attraction and the love of which it is part, that the truth about the person who is its object, play a part at least as important as the truth of the sentiment.'

"These two truths, properly integrated, give to an attraction [wholeness], the elements of a genuinely good, and genuinely cultivated love. Thus the object of attraction is seen whole, as a good, as a thing of beauty.
A human being is beautiful and may be revealed as beautiful to another human being." Love is a commitment to the good of each other. "For power is made perfect in weakness."
--2 Corinthians12:9-10

What's Your Relationship?

You're My Best Friend

Lyrics sung by Mercury, Queen

Listen Here

Ooh you make me live

Whatever this world can

give to me It's you

you're all I see

Ooo you make me live now honey

Ooo you make me live Ooh you're the best

friend that I ever had

I've been with you such

a long time You're my sunshine and

I want you to know

That my feelings are true

I really love you

Oh you're my best friend

Ooo you make me live

Ooh I've been wandering round

But I still come back to you

In rain or shine You've stood by me girl

I'm happy at home You're my best friend

Ooo you make me live

Whenever this world is cruel to me

I got you to help me forgive

Ooo you make me live now honey

Ooo you make me live

You're the first one

When things turn out bad

You know I'll never be lonely

You're my only one

And I love the things

I really love the things that you do

You're my best friend

Ooo you make me live I'm happy at home

You're my best friend

Oh you're my best friend

Ooo you make me live

You you're my best friend

While we often hear this song, we think of someone else rather than the artist-singer. However a bit of delving into Freddie Mercury's life reveals that late in his life, he was preoccupied with a concern for love-in-life, and the absence of the love-experience in his own life. 
His thoughts turned increasingly to spiritual matters. His lyrics explore the role of human love in those spiritual yearnings. He may have died young, but he was hopeful as his lyrics. Did he find the love he looked for?

However often we may think about others, when I heard this song recently, I thought about the question of the relationship I have with myself. Yes, that One--me, myself and I. What does that feel like, who is that, where am I in my life, can I forgive myself? 
Sometimes, I'm just stupid, sometimes I really screw up. True, I'm not perfect. But isn't good enough, good enough? Must we be more? Sure, the Bible tells us there is no sin too great for the forgiveness of God, but what about me--me forgiving me? If I let go and fall, will I land on my feet? Can I confront what I so dislike and still live with myself?
How do I get to there? It seems to me at least, that the love we reflect to others is the love we see for ourselves. So how is that relationship going these days? And so often we struggle with our self. It can be hard to understand why we are as we are, why we do as we do. 
The lyrics here give a clue; we can't go it alone. It seems we are social creatures; with the help or simple presence of others in our lives, they our friends can "help me to forgive." From the sense of these lyrics, I think Mercury must have found a real love. I wonder if he knew it.