Hitting the Skids

In some places the skids means to be in an unenviable place, as in one step forward, two steps backward. Does it have to be like that? Does that one step back place one on the skids, like a hamster on a wheel? The unenviable turning of the wheel, why?--when just recently there seemed to have come a place of calm, a peaceable and livable state where we might all prosper. Ouch!  People generally don't like what they don't know, what they don't understand or half-understand. Even if there is not direct, immediate conflict between individuals, then there is conflict elsewhere. And where dignity is lacking, respect is absent too.

That brings conflict to you and me. (We're Only Human After All) I've seen this picture before... and suddenly the new made good is punctured by those around who would be the critics. And what the hell am I talking about, you ask? Well, in the short of it, it's about that much used term dignity. Many like that term; they like what it means. The UN likes that term; they use it as part of their human rights doctrine. Do they extend themselves to others?

The Church uses that term too. She really likes that term; matter of fact, she likes it so well, she teaches it every day. Hmm. The dignity of a human person is what primarily distinguishes it from others. All are deserving of their dignity. The sidebar of this blog even has it on there-- affirm the force and value of a person. Each deserves respect...respect them in the place they are... so as to create a more unified and harmonious world. Some of this may require patience. And yes, it works, this more harmonious world. And very well when we all sing the same song. Does that make sense? Can we talk?

Diane Rizzetto writes in her book, Waking Up To What You Do, a story about a Peace Corps worker in the chapter, Taking Only What is  Freely Given:  After pedaling miles and miles with a passenger upon his bicycle in rural Africa on a very hot day, they arrived at her destination. He had gone out of his way to take her. "He was exhausted. I was giddy and in awe of him." It was, she says, an act of dana, giving freely and generously. It is not the simple act of giving help, writes Rizzetto.
Instead practicing dana over time teaches openness; this can be profound in working our way through to a more open heart, a heart that sees past anger, jealousy, fear or rejection.

 The woman on the bike recounts that looking back to that day, moments before the man offered her a ride on his bike, she felt stranded. But still a part of her was calm because she knew where she was in that place, and then the stranger came and offered her his help. She accepted in the spirit of dana. We can learn.
John, the disciple of the Christ writes:

See what love the Father has bestowed on us

that we may be called the children of God.

Yet so we are.

The reason the world does not know us

is that it did not know him.

1John3:1-2

Talking Like Someone You Care For

In the Arms of the Angel
By Sarah Mclachlan

Listen Here

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance

For the break that will make it ok

There's always some reason to feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction oh beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins

They may be empty and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel fly away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort ther

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn

There's vultures and thieves at your back

The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies

That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference, escaping one last time

It's easier to believe

In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness

That brings me to my knees

In the arms of an Angel far away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie

In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here.

Talking-- we do so much. We talk on the phone; we talk together; we talk on the internet; we blog; we write and then write some more. But through all this talk there are some important things for me-- I've been thinking about this, and it's plainly, 'talk to me like I'm someone you care for, talk to me like I'm someone you love.' Everything else is noise. This experience of talk, talking like we're someone loved, cared for, infuses even the most mean spirited exchange with a greater level of respect and self-respect. It is centering for both parties. It is deeply loving, deeply healing.

Many of us as children had experiences in our families where we did not experience the wonder of this type of talk. Ordered around and imposed upon, we did not often receive messages from our parents, about our value and self-worth from they, who then loved us most. If it had transpired differently, many of us would have been the recipients of  a most wonderful and valuable message: we might have experienced the connection of our self-worth and a connection to our parent. Instead the words were often wounding, often alienating. They were lecturing.

Now as adults we may consciously choose. With our free will intact, simply I ask, "talk to me like I'm someone you care for deeply, like I'm someone you love." In this thing we call a 'relationship,' how are we going to treat each other from this day forward? I have a thought that each one of us deserves to be treated lovingly, despite it all.

"There is no fear in love." 1John 4:18