I Am Afraid to Tell You...

True Colors
by Cyndi Lauper
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You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Sometimes we're afraid of telling ourselves or others about what really matters to us. It may at times seem silly, but it happens to most of us at least some of the time. First we must recognize what is us, what belongs to us. And making that real is often accomplished, in part, by saying it aloud to someone else. We're like the lyrics says, afraid to let our true colors shine through, afraid to be real with you. Why? There is no one reason, really. Each of us have many and many unique reasons.

We may be afraid that if we tell, another will be "mad at us," we won't be liked, there is fear of criticism instead of the effort to understand what I'm struggling with, or that change will be necessary on the part of others. Fears that I will not be valued in my realness, that you may even prefer me to be unreal with you...
This last one is possibly the scariest; to find that our beloved isn't big enough or willing to support us in being true to ourselves. Possibly we think that a part of us will hate them for their lack. We might wonder, why are we in their company, what are we doing with them?

Sometimes we aren't owning our feelings or values because we sense a need to 'humor' our beloved. It seems like they just maybe can't or won't accept our news... That is a situation which over time, may eat away at us, leaving us with a feeling that we're trapped. In knots, afraid to tell my truth; it's a horrible feeling that I have to humor you. Playing pretend with you, afraid to tell what matters, what is truth for me; perhaps you will find me disloyal, insensitive, contrary.

Yet in the situation in which all the options seem possibly bad, like telling who I am, it is this place that we must arrive in order to stop making loyalty to oneself, to my own insides, less important or perceived as disloyal to you. Can I stay connected and stay real within your sphere? Do my true colors shine through?