Showing posts with label true colors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label true colors. Show all posts

February 27, 2014

Talking to You, Please!

No Light, No Light
by  Florence Welch, Florence and the Machine
LISTEN HERE
...Would you leave me
 if I told you what I'd done?
 Would you leave me
   if I told you what I'd become?...
  

Sometimes, sometimes often, we find ourself at odds with others. It could be about any number of reasons-- or no real reason at all. It's just that their point of view doesn't match up with ours. We find ourselves at odds. We love our friends and family but can't bring ourselves to admit to them something they see from another point of view puts us off; we feel anxiety and lack of acceptance because their attitude differs from our own. Are we traitors to the cause? Have we failed to come clean? Do we fear a lack of acceptance, or worse, a lack of response at all? Have we concealed our attitudes and opinions to 'keep the peace'?

When threatened or threatening
to others by these types of unexpected finds or disclosures, many are inclined to react negatively as if duped or betrayed. We think, "How could you? I could never accept something like that! You-- you never told me that! Can't you think? What else are you keeping to yourself, or keeping from me?!"

Suddenly there is a point of view,
a policy, a position we feel must be defended. And often we take to defense at all costs, alienating our most important others because of truths we can't bear to hear. In our protests, our indignation, rejections, we may well feel we're letting our real, true self out and airing what we know is a line in the sand that must be drawn. But nothing could be further from the truth! We aren't just letting our true colors be known, we aren't just sticking up for ourselves.

Our dearly held points of view have turned others into enemies; our friendship falls away, forgotten. Why? Because when what we're feeling most intensely as 'our point of view,' what we hope to impose upon others forms a sort of strait jacket. The you, the personal you is lost, bound up into a position, a point of view. How can we interact, confide what matters most to our hearts when demoted to a nameless, faceless 'you'?

Taking it back to the point of recognition of a real, personal you, we find our self and our heart. It is here where we can tell about our concerns, acknowledge our misgivings; and recognize you, like I may be alike in most ways and different in a few others.
As often is the case, it's not the subject one engages with, it's how that makes all the difference.

January 9, 2011

I Am Afraid to Tell You...

True Colors
by Cyndi Lauper
Listen Here

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Sometimes we're afraid of telling ourselves or others about what really matters to us. It may at times seem silly, but it happens to most of us at least some of the time. First we must recognize what is us, what belongs to us. And making that real is often accomplished, in part, by saying it aloud to someone else. We're like the lyrics says, afraid to let our true colors shine through, afraid to be real with you. Why? There is no one reason, really. Each of us have many and many unique reasons.

We may be afraid that if we tell,
another will be "mad at us," we won't be liked, there is fear of criticism instead of the effort to understand what I'm struggling with, or that change will be necessary on the part of others. Fears that I will not be valued in my realness, that you may even prefer me to be unreal with you...
This last one is possibly the scariest; to find that our beloved isn't big enough or willing to support us in being true to ourselves. Possibly we think that a part of us will hate them for their lack. We might wonder, why are we in their company, what are we doing with them?

Sometimes we aren't owning our feelings
or values because we sense a need to 'humor' our beloved. It seems like they just maybe can't or won't accept our news... That is a situation which over time, may eat away at us, leaving us with a feeling that we're trapped. In knots, afraid to tell my truth; it's a horrible feeling that I have to humor you. Playing pretend with you, afraid to tell what matters, what is truth for me; perhaps you will find me disloyal, insensitive, contrary.

Yet in the situation in which all the options seem possibly bad, like telling who I am, it is this place that we must arrive in order to stop making loyalty to oneself, to my own insides, less important or perceived as disloyal to you. Can I stay connected and stay real within your sphere? Do my true colors shine through?